it would appear
I have run out of words
at the start of this new year
that this verbose host
can only find the word
the word
toast
and a love so fine
all I can come up with is
divine
normally I can spout
let it pour out
confusing
bemusing
enthusing
until the other runs out of heart
but ive run out of words
a person has sat with me
for such a time
been interested
questioned
paid attention
stayed
just stayed
not been put off
and
ive wriggled
and wriggled
gone off on tangents
but slowly
ever so slowly
slipped inside all my defences
think of that
all my defences.
where is the pain?
always been pain
that's why ive remained running
alone
manned the barricades
I don't need to ask where the pleasure is!
liberally, selflessly you regularly saturate me
inside all my defences
like when your hand slips so easily
under my shirt
to the base of my back
traveling languidly up
to the seat of my physical pain
scapula central
and the warmth
the softness
of the gentlest hand ive ever felt
and my body
on intuitive
releases
and I can breath
why am I am not awkward?
for this is a depth of intimacy that intellectually makes me cringe
Why do I let this happen?
intuitive me is strong
brain over heart it seems in the end cannot
shall not prevail
how can I not?
my skin so thirsty
goosebumps raise themselves
to get closer to you
as brain scrambling to control macro
but micro shouts at us
Im so beyond my own knowledge
like I jumped out of a plane
I am my own parachute
you the air I fall through
how I love falling through
the view amazing
always changing
the resistance of the air
pushing all around me
supporting me
caressing me
I just don't like leaving the plane
scary sat on the edge
in the door
where is your suppression of me?
the "if only you would be this"
"if only you weren't this?"
where did you come from?
What quality of fellowship you give me
oh what quality you give me
and I find all I can do is rotate
the same words
phrases
as I reach the edge of my known world
inner voice calms me
there is a time for words
there is a time for talk
there are times for courage
there is a time to walk
there's a time for silence
there's a time for motion
there's a space
that's safe
for me to give you true soul devotion
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