i have merino

I think

all the things

all the lack of commitment

was nothing about

me

nor

being busy

 

 

all the things that I took personally

not about me

 

wash

excess wash

from a previous time

 

am I hurt?

of course.

 

i know

that if you could have just trusted me

communicated with me in a clear and honest fashion

trusted

my honest love for you

 

i sigh

 

it wasn't like this

you didn't

not wouldn't

i think couldn't

 

all those years of hurt

the programming

made it so

 

i am not angry with you

im understanding to an extreme

ive been in hard places

i after all understand

 

i get moment when i want to say hi

but i don't

i wont

give you a clean start

remove any confusion

 

but i miss you

but i like the calm in my life

i didn't realise how much energy i invested

just keeping contact

 

i wanted to do it

so i did

 

i like having not to worry

about my words

i know how i feel for you

so i never saw any negative

as i knew there was none

 

slowly

slowly

all the questions

grew in my mind

weeds of concern

 

questions

negative questions

 

and it grew

and grew

 

and i couldn't be patient any more

 

and i just let go

 

i accept this

it was a choice

not a reflex

much thought had gone into it

much time

much observation

 

and i wonder

do you miss me

as i miss you?

 

do you?

 

and the leaves are turning

and soon they shall fall

and dormant winter shall be with me

i have merino

i will be ok

in life

its just the price

the tree pays

here for a season

gone for three

it was true love

true love i felt for you

in

me