words choke me
my choices land
mud splatters
grey sky thinking day
only from the outside
do I understand
love offered
returned
to sender
now im a pretender
suck it up
throw off the pain
scrub it off
watch it fall
splat
im a prat
no doubt of that
irrelevant is where im happiest at
on the margins
safe from harm
on the outside
alone
strong
that seed
it dropped through
a concreted crack
it grew
emotionally unavailable
it was
no matter how much sun shone
no matter how much water it was tended with
awkward tentative
grew against its will
but that seed loved its feet in the dirt
could see the world down here
could see up the worlds skirt
its secrets
crooked
weak
but the dirt gave its friend
all the love it could
gave it all its honest minerals
but the seed
wished not for minerals
but for vitamins
the storm came
had been before
the crooked seed tried
but a gust came
uprooted so said seed
and separated it from the dirt
off it flew
petals
stem
roots, a few
the dirt
safe under concrete slabs
under the crack a space
where seed had landed
roots had grown
but that was before the gust came
and now all that was left
was the knowledge
that the seed had flown
and a lasting impression
the earth
the greater part of that dirt
held it together
that dirt loved so much
it let the seed go
fly free
onwards on its journey
somewhere else to sow
and the rain came
and through the concrete a raindrop fell
and a muddy splat resulted
dirt let go
but never of the dream
the feeling of that union
forever germinating in its heart
and the splatted travelled earth
accepted its fate
tried to forget
couldn't
wanted a river to grow
wash it away
but I guess the price
the dirt pays
for having cracks above it
for its fertile heart
for loving the seed
for taking its chance
now the dirt could only participate
in a far off dance
rain kept coming
the rain kept coming
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