start again

I observed

knowing there was nothing I could do with the space

between us

 

I felt comfort

thankful to the rock pools

for giving you the peace I could not

 

I want to be the person that just lets go

I don't want this love I carry

I tell myself I shall learn to live with it

 

there is a gap

I try to fill it

but what filled it was unique

I have the knowledge I treasured all of it

all of you

 

id never had such a mind to share

so clever

so beautiful

so observant

so thoughtful

so kind

 

emotionally unavailable I think

not through wish

but through situation

through nature maybe

 

no judgment

just how it feels

 

im a realist

and a dreamer

took comfort in knowing you

the hugs

the touches

the looks

the blushes

 

I look in others for you

but you're not there

and im reminded

of my loss

my loss

 

I know in the end

if I was better

more together

that we could have made it

my heart wanted forever

 

so patient am I

that I will wait

this life time and the next

 

there I shall start the journey all over again

my search for you

and I hope

how I hope

 

that in the next life time

that it will be the time

that then

we wont pass like ships

 

that we can stay

and enjoy each other  love

that I can stay

that I can stay

 

and I wonder

what happened that day

how I hate this home

amalgamated as I am

 

I wont forget supposed friends stupidity

and the cost to me

frailty of my own forgiveness

 

I don't want to start a new with another

I want to start again

just with you